My weight loss blog just got up and running. There isn't much at the moment but its where I'm going to put all of my highs and lows, my triumphs and setbacks. Talking about this has been one of my biggest issues for such a long time. I actually believed that if I didn't mention it to anyone it wouldn't be an issue.
Lord, what a mistake that was. I have spent the last 15 years or so of my life under the illusion that I didn't really have a problem. Not facing this head on with understanding of my past and hope for the future has lead me to where I am currently. At 378 pounds I am miserable. I have let it consume my every day and fill it with excuses so I don't have to try.
Have you ever been to that point where you are just so angry at what you have let happen that you want to do something IMMEDIATELY?!
I have...many, many, many times. I get motivated and inspired to lose all the excess weight only to become discouraged when nothing happens right away. OOOH and the sick thing is that in my head I KNOW that its not all going to happen at once. I mean why should it? It didn't all show up in one day so losing it shouldn't be any different. See my head knows this, but my heart aches for progress and when it doesn't happen I lose faith in myself.
Its a sick cycle that breaks today...this very minute.
No longer am I going to set myself up for failure by expecting too much from myself to quickly. Yes I want amazing result (and I WILL GET them) but its going to take time. Its going to take effort on my part and lots of support from my friends and family.
I'm also going to accept that I am NOT alone in this. See I have friends and family that love me...that care about me and want me to succeed, but I've never once stopped to consider that they might also understand what I'm going through. This realization hit me today while reading all of the amazing comments and messages I received from my DAY 1 post on facebook. Some I have known for years and had no clue that they had dealt with any of the things they were willing to talk to me about.
The words of encouragement and camaraderie that were sent my way were humbling and will give me the encouragement I need when I need it most. If you are one of those people that talked to me, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
And with that I'm off for the night to go weigh in and take the dreaded measurements
-Cat
Hey Cat it's Katie Martin! Thank You for sharing your struggles and story. I too have had my point of wondering what the hell am I doing? Why am I not good enough for the job? why didn't I get picked for the job right out of school? Why did I have to have a backward 1940's arrogant judgmental boss that took my job and future away from my family because he had his religious differences with me? Why can't I still get a job?! I have learned to stop wondering and crying why am I not good enough?! I have learned to fight! Fight for what I want! You can do it Cat! Fight for what you want because you CAN do it! Sending so much love and encouragement your way :) xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSaw your video on the Chris Powell FB page. I think it is great that you are going to journal through this blog your weight loss journey. I am just starting my own weight loss goals as well and hope to follow along with you on this blog. I find it so helpful to connect with other people who have similar goals. Good luck in your journey :)
ReplyDelete