Well it has been a bit over a month since I posted my first video
and if I'm completely honest I haven't improved much physically....slightly
better mentally but not by much. I had fully intended to go to the gym
every day for at least 45 minutes....cook every day....be a different better person
EVERY DAY but it didn't work out that way.
My husband had a health scare and I used
that as a "reasonable" excuse to not try as hard. My son was
acting out and getting into trouble so I convinced myself that I should stay at
home with him instead to going to the gym. I was called a
"Whale" and "Fatty" while at the pool with my son and I let
that destroy my self-confidence to the point I didn't leave the house for a
week. I probably had a hundred plausible excuses that let me not try as
hard as I could have over the last month, but in the end I'm still in the same
place I was when this whole thing started.
SQUARE ONE...
Frankly, I'm pissed off at myself for not
improving. It’s so easy to say "Oh I'm going to skip today and get
back to it tomorrow!" but the trick is actually getting back to it.
Skipping day after day just turns into a month of doing nothing - of no
weight lost, no gains in confidence....just lost time and opportunities.
I am going forward even if I’m still
standing on the starting line. All of
the excuses I have used are still there, but I have realized that whether I’m
at home or at the gym worrying - Steven’s health is what it is, Caleb’s behavior
is not based off of the fact that I am taking some time for myself, and hiding
out in my house isn’t going to change the fact that I’m a big target for jerks
with no manners.
Since I’m the type of person that does better with structure I’m
creating a schedule of things to do, goals to reach, and rewards to obtain. I
figure that if I have something I need to do and be held accountable for, I
might be more willing to stick to it in the beginning when it’s the easiest to
put off. Hopefully, the comments and
messages that I have been receiving with continue as well.
So far I have
-go to the gym
-weigh in
It’s not much right now and needs more detail but it’s a start…right?!?! After I get this posted I’m going to finesse it
a bit so there is no question about what needs to get done over the next few
months.
Thanks for visiting!
<3 - Cat
OH! If you made it to the
end of all those words...congrats! Now, leave a comment so I know it’s not just my
mother visiting the blog over and over again :D
Holding yourself accountable is the biggest thing. Setting goals will be great, especially after you hit a couple, they motivate REALLY well hun. Only suggestion I have is weight 1 time per week, your weight can fluctuate day to day and that could be discouraging.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! You only fail when you stop trying - it's tough to get everything in that a day requires, let alone adds more to what you have already balanced. I'm starting out at square one again myself, and applying for a new job on top of it. You can do it! I believe in you!
ReplyDeleteHang in there! You know what you need to do, getting started is always a struggle. You can do it! :)
ReplyDeleteoh man i have done this so many times and cried and cried...and screamed and screamed ...You know the one thing that seems to hit me the most is self destruction. As soon as I would (do) see myself doing great for some reason I sabotage my self. I go to bed repenting and with tears, and wake up ready to start again. BUT this journey is stinking hard!!!! You know I was thinking on the "reasons" I might as well put it on here...I mean who knows me right. Well I have been abused sexually, verbally, emotionally, and physically. I was made to feel like the only love I could get was using my body. I hit lots bottoms so to speak. I am so thankful for a couple of really great things though. God, He has healed me of so much pain and enabled me to forgive those who hurt me. He is still working in my life...I know there is more because I still sabotage myself ...not as much but I do it! The other thing is Im thankful that no matter what excuses I have or reasons for my crazy "food addiction" I can keep making better choices...I was a victim...but I'M NOT ANYMORE!
ReplyDelete